ALTERNATIVE MUSIC, the modern alternative that is -- Mekons, Gang Of Four, The Fall, the Banshees -- offering an option not a solution; others are open and to claim otherwise would be to deny the facts. Bands who promote nothing more radical than good time rock'n'roll, though admittedly somewhat bedevilled by the irreverently accelerated forward rush of time, are still functioning, still doing steady business. Take The Bishops, an often bruisingly effective rhythm and blues outfit, who are neither bloodless nor infirm but who in the often distorted, reflected light of these modern times, may be viewed as something of an anachronism, as outmoded as facial hair and marijuana. Whether or not they have a relevant contribution to make to the modern music scene is a decision you will have to make for yourself, but I would suggest to you that if commitment is still a quality worth the tip of a hat, then The Bishops must be in line for something. "Some people actually think that rhythm and blues is the best music around -- us for instance," says Johnny Guitar, Bishops' lead guitarist. An American, he's probably the tallest person I have ever stood next to in a car park, 6ft 4in with the open, cock-eyed innocent look of a freckless Howdy Doody, and the built of a fresh light heavyweight. "Progression is not something we sit down and consciously think about. We don't go into the studio and say, 'Okay it's about time we used syntesizers.' We have progressed, we're still the same band but our sound has changed. We play more interesting arrangements, better. Actually I think we have a pretty distinctive sound." Dave Tice, a vocalist in what must surely be a grand old tradition (especially if you happen to be a naturalised Australian), sits on the edge of his chair, a character of cartoon clarity and dimension. "It's rock and roll music that we play. If somebody doesn't think it's relevant to the current social or political situation then they don't have to buy our records and they don't have to come to our concerts. We don't want to change the world, fuck that, it's just entertainment, it's rock and roll, and we're doing it because we like it." A delightful and unassuming stereotype, the thought that this music could be looked upon as anything other than Big Fun is completly alien to him.

ROLES, everybody has one to act out, either by instinct or through choice. I ask the band if they are aware of their chosen role, their rhythm and blues identity so to speak, when they sit down to write songs. I direct the question to Zenon de Fleur, rhythm guitarist and the only original Bishop remaining in the line-up these days. Parodoxically perhaps he's also the least likely band member --- a true blue Brit, formerly a freelance accountant who now runs a P.A. company. He looks like he might almost have a weight problem, but will probably never go broke. "Well yes and no, I meam, I know whatever I write will end up sounding like The Bishops." Dave continues the theme: "Because we are what we are, whatever we do is going to sound a certain way. We don't really think about it, it's a naturel process." Watching The Bishops on stage, and talking to them, is an experience akin to watching a film in which the actors are distinguished only by the roles they play: 'The Guitar Player' played by a guitar player, 'The Singer' played by a singer etc. After spending ten minutes with any of the band , with the possible exception of Zen, I guarantee you'd be wondering just what the hell they'd be doing had they not met each other, or even more unthinkable, had they not come in contact with rock'n'roll. The two Bishops to whom you have not been intoduced are bassist Pat McMulllen and drummer Paul Balbi. "There was an audition, about 60 or 70 bassists, and I went along, broke a string while I was tuning up, told a few Irish jokes and that was that. I was in." Personally I don't swallow any of that, I think The Bishops took McMullen under their wing because he's an Irish pixie, too innocent to be exposed to the evils of this vile and double-dealing world. Paul Balbi, another naturalised Australian, a young man with shoulder-length hair and much wit in his eyes, exudes the kind of mild-mannered charm that big city girls with cold water souls call wimpiness. Me, I think he's cute, but that's me all over. I wonder at the type of audience The Bishops attract. "People, basically." Sharp, Johnny, real sharp. "I mean anybody and everybody, from 14 to 40... though I suppose it's mainly 16 to 19- year-old, guys. They're the one who stand right in front of you and watch your fingers." ...In the film of the book of life, 'The Rock Audience' is played by a rock audience... Ah but Johnny, what happens when these kids come and watch you, and maybe hear all these R&B classics for the first time, and think maybe they ought to check out the original recordings --- a conflict of interests? "Good, man, I hope they do. I hope they do go and listen to the original artist. Personally I think our versions stand up pretty well against the originals. And remember, the original Count Bishops songs are by the Count Bishops." When quizzed about their feelings toward the punk phenomenon, the band adopt an attitiude of mellow disinterest. Dave: "It happened, but we didn't change. We're still playing basically the same stuff as we've always played." Johnny: "Right, I mean what the hell is punk anyway, just rhythm and blues, played faster and maybe sloppier. It's the same three chords. It did encourage more kids to come out to concerts, opened up a whole new marked." Okay as perhaps that is a pretty superficial assesment of a situation that is by no means entirely washed up, but considering it come from a band who did miss the main elevator ride way back then when the getting was good, it seems refreshingly free of malice and sour grapes. I spent a couple of days with The Bishops while they were playing warm-up for the Feelgoods, during which time I saw them work over two crowds with an admirably professional dead-eyed precision. The Bishops very rarely make mistakes and never carry excess baggage. In order to familiarise myself with their music I drifted through the best part of the week listening to nothing but Bishops records, which on reflection was pobably not such a hot idea. Don't misconstrue my meaning, the albums are fine examples of the genre, but things do tend to get a little out of proportion when you lift them completly from their frame of reference. But onstage --- that's where they kill. "It's rock and roll, and we're doing it because we like it."

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